Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Lomana LuaLua/archive1

The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted by SandyGeorgia 03:39, 14 November 2009 [1].

Lomana LuaLua

Nominator(s): Spiderone 16:52, 24 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]
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I am nominating this for featured article because it meets all the criteria. It is well-balanced and contains anything you would want to know about LuaLua. I believe it mirrors the current featured footballer articles such as Thierry Henry and Bert Trautmann. This is my first nomination so I apologise if I make any amateur mistakes. Spiderone 16:52, 24 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Was Malcolmxl5 (talk · contribs) consulted about this nomination? SandyGeorgia (Talk) 17:03, 24 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]
He has been consulted now Spiderone 17:08, 24 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comments -
  • What makes the following reliable sources?
    • http://www.transfermarkt.co.uk/en/spielbericht/71860/panathinaikos-athen_olympiakos-piraeus/spielverlauf/index.html
I don't know German but this might be useful Spiderone 09:03, 26 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • http://www.goalzz.com/main.aspx?c=3821&stage=1&sch=true
It has a lot of dedicated contributors and moderators [2] and is one of few websites covering Middle Eastern football Spiderone 09:03, 26 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • http://www.sportingreece.com
In the "about us" section it claims to be the only English language website covering Greek sport Spiderone 09:03, 26 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • http://www.kickitout.org/news.php/news_id/1158
It is a campaign supported by the Professional Footballers Association (PFA), the Premier League and The Football Association and recognised by FIFA (the world governing body for football) and UEFA (the European version) Spiderone 09:03, 26 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Please spell out abbreviations in the notes
Otherwise, sources look okay, links checked out with the link checker tool. Ealdgyth - Talk 18:04, 25 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]
To determine the reliability of the site, we need to know what sort of fact checking they do. You can establish this by showing news articles that say the site is reliable/noteworthy/etc. or you can show a page on the site that gives their rules for submissions/etc. or you can show they are backed by a media company/university/institute, or you can show that the website gives its sources and methods, or there are some other ways that would work too. It's their reputation for reliability that needs to be demonstrated. Please see Wikipedia:Wikipedia Signpost/2008-06-26/Dispatches for further detailed information. Ealdgyth - Talk 12:45, 26 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Are any of the four sites still not reliable? Spiderone 18:48, 27 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]
The closest to reliable is the kickitout one, assuming it's only used to reference information about the campaign. Otherwise, I'm inclined to say not reliable. Ealdgyth - Talk 00:21, 9 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]
It is used to show he took part in the Show Racism The Red Card campaign in addition to the mention of it on his official site Spiderone 08:38, 9 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]
I also think that Sport In Greece is completely reliable. As this link and this link proves, it uses journalists who have written for The Times, Reuters and Guardian. Both of the owners have worked with the BBC so I don't think it can be considered reliable unless we're showing bias. I think it would be fair to say, as far as Greek websites go, it is reliable. I will try to replace Transfermarkt and Goalzz if possible. Spiderone 08:48, 9 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Alt text added Spiderone 21:43, 26 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks for doing that; I tweaked it a bit. It looks good now. Eubulides (talk) 22:29, 26 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Comments – Only a few quick ones instead of a full review, which I would like to do if I find time.

  • "He remained there for three months but his spell there was marred by disciplinary problems and malaria." One thing to watch for is repetitive repeating of words, like the multiple "there"s in this sentence. The second one can be removed without changing the meaning, making the sentence tighter as a whole.
  • "He has a brother called Kazenga LuaLua who plays for Newcastle United". I didn't think the "called" was needed when I read it. A simpler "He has a brother, Kazenga LuaLua, who plays for Newcastle United" may be an improvement.
  • Club career: Feels like some punctuation is missing from this: "Initially, he struggled to adapt and he preferred going to nightclubs over playing for Colchester, Harrop says 'It took a lot of hard work...". Giants2008 (17–14) 00:21, 30 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]
I've addressed these 3 points Spiderone 22:26, 30 October 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • Newcastle United: "LuaLua made his first-team debut in a 1–0 home defeat to Charlton Athletic in September 2000 and went on to make a total of 23 league and cup appearances...". Lot of unneeded words here. This can easily be reduced to "and made 23 league and cup appearances", which will also make the voice of the sentence more active.
    • "having started 21 games and made 67 appearances as substitute." Add "a" before last word?
    • Portsmouth: "During this loan he famously scored in the 89th minute in a 1–1 draw for Portsmouth against parent club Newcastle." Would a game in February 2003 that ultimately had no real impact on the season really qualify as famous?
    • Change comma after "His disciplinary problems continued when he was warned by the Football Association over his future conduct" to a semi-colon?
    • Olympiakos: "He fell out of favour shortly before the Greek cup final in May and was placed on the transfer list." According to our article on the subject, "cup" should be capitalized (proper noun). Also, consider linking to the Greek Cup article.
    • International career: "He was however included...". Commas should bracket "however" here.
    • Spell out FECOFA.
    • "as the DR Congo football authorities felt it better not to tell him so to avoid distracting him." Add "as" before second "to".
    • Change comma after "LuaLua scored the second goal in a 2–0 victory" to a semi-colon.
    • Do the same with the comma before "this time it was on suspicion of assault occasioning actual bodily harm" in Personal life.
    • If I may make one general comment to conclude my review, I feel that the article needs work regarding its punctuation. There are numerous times throughout where commas are missing from where they should be or present where they shouldn't, and several commas that should be semi-colons the way a given sentence is structured, a few of which I pointed out above. Although it seems like a minor point, solid punctuation is vital for FA-level prose, and having someone go over this would go a long way toward the article meeting the criterion for professional prose. Giants2008 (27 and counting) 01:33, 7 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]
I've addressed these points now Spiderone 09:54, 7 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Oppose on criterion 3 - File:LuaLua 2007.jpg - It is unclear from the image description page who the copyright holder is, that is, is the uploader also the photographer? Please contact the uploader and ask him/her to clarify this.Awadewit (talk) 00:04, 1 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The uploader is inactive so I'm not sure what I can do about this. On the image's page it says "Photo taken By Dave Adcock in Cosham, Portsmouth July 2007" and the user that uploaded it is called Dave so surely we know that he uploaded it and owns the rights to it. Spiderone 11:22, 2 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Apologies, I didn't see that in the history - I have restored that information to the image description page. Awadewit (talk) 01:47, 5 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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