Talk:Andagua volcanic field

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This review is transcluded from Talk:Andagua volcanic field/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Hog Farm (talk · contribs) 17:10, 31 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Criteria

1. Prose ✓ Pass

2. Verifiability ✓ Pass

3. Depth of Coverage ✓ Pass

4. Neutral ✓ Pass

5. Stable ✓ Pass

6. Illustrations ✓ Pass

7. Miscellaneous ✓ Pass

Comments

1.

  • " cinder cones/scoria cones" - Probably best to put scoria cones as a paranthetical comment, and it shouldn't be linked by any means, since the back-to-back links take the reader to the exact same place.
    Unlinked. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 19:02, 1 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Is Andagua valley a proper name? If so, valley should be capitalized.
    Yes, done. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 19:02, 1 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The volcanic field is part of a larger province that clusters around the Colca River and is mostly of Pleistocene age," - Province is usually a geopolitical term, so is there a better word here, given that the context is obviously geographic? The best way to do this might be to link volcanic province.
    Linked and article'd. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 19:02, 1 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "although the average height of cones is about 50–170 metres (160–560 ft)[5] or 200–300 metres (660–980 ft)" - Why are there two very different averages presented? This needs explanation on what's different between the two averages.
    The source states it as such, with little explanation. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 19:02, 1 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Again, is this a proper name? - "Apune valley", "Ayo valley"
    Capitalized. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 19:02, 1 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • " from Orcopampa lie the wide Mauras"- Should be lies the wide Mauras
    Fixed. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 19:02, 1 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Pyroclastic cones is a duplink
    Removed one. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 19:02, 1 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Sora River lies a number of lava domes and three pyroclastic cones along" - Should be lie here, as the subject is "a numer of lava domes and three pyroclastic cones"
    Done. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 19:02, 1 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "This part of the volcanic field produced the most volcanic activity, its vents were controlled by faults" - Replace the comma with a semicolon
    Done. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 19:02, 1 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • You state in the history section that the village's name is Andagua, but you reference the town Andahua later. Are these the same? If so, spelling should be consistent.
    ​ Resolved this one. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 10:27, 2 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • " flows through Valley of the Volcanoes" - Flows through the Valley of the Volcanoes, maybe?
    Done. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 19:02, 1 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • " the Andahua river" - Again, capitalize if proper noun
    Done. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 19:02, 1 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • " South America commenced probably during the Paleozoic" - It reads smoother if you swap the order of commenced and probably
    Done. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 19:02, 1 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "and among these is Sabancaya with historical," - Historical what?
    Activity. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 19:02, 1 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • " and finally the Uchan field south of the Lagunillas Pass the Uchan Sur and Tururunca cinder cones, some lava domes farther south and a lava flow field that also runs south.." - This is confusing me. The use of finally makes it sound like the Uchan field is the last entry, but then "the Uchan Sur and Tururunca cinder cones, some lava domes farther south and a lava flow field that also runs south" happens, which appears to be another entry, but without a separator.
    Added a word. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 19:02, 1 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "and Holocene generation" - "and a Holocene generation"
    Corrected. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 19:02, 1 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "strombolian eruptions" - Strombolian is capitalized in the preceding sentence, this should be consistent
    Done. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 19:02, 1 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "yougnest" - spelling
    Corrected. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 19:02, 1 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Andagua's surroundings are considered to be a typical expression of the volcanic field[4] and the creation of a national park covering parts of the volcanic field has been proposed[62] and was carried out in the form of a geopark in 2015[63] and some volcanoes of the Andagua volcanic field are considered to be geosites[64] with some spots already protected in some way; the area offers landscape and scientific value." - Can you break up this sentence? It's so long the length interferes with readability
    Broke it up. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 19:02, 1 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "A concentration of such small volcanoes such as Andagua in an easily accessible location is not common in the world" - This implies that Andagua is easily accessible, but earlier in the section you stated that the area was difficult to access
    That's a contradiction between sources, and I don't know how to resolve it. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 19:02, 1 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
    - @Jo-Jo Eumerus: Probably the best way to handle this is to use attribution. For instance, "According to researchers from xxxx, a concentration of such small ...". Hog Farm (talk) 14:38, 2 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
    I was thinking of doing the same but much of that paragraph is not opinion and a statement like "According to x...there are roads" makes little sense in the context of how Wikipedia uses. Upon rereading, I think that Galas is perhaps the weaker statement on the issue, so I've removed it. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 15:49, 2 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
    Okay, with that contradiction out of the way, I'm ready to promote this one. Passing. Hog Farm (talk) 16:13, 2 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

2.

  • You list the authors of one ref in the full citation as "Mariño Salazar, Jersy; Zavala Carrión, Bilberto Luis (2010)", but in the short citation in the above section lists them as "Mariño Salazar & Zavala Carrión 2010"
    I don't understand where that comes from. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 19:02, 1 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
    • trout Self-trout - Spanish naming customs, Zavala Carrión is the author's last name, not a full name. Hog Farm (talk) 19:51, 1 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Are A. Gałaś and Andrezj Gałaś the same author?
    Yes, changed this. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 19:02, 1 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

  • You give Andahua as an alternate name in the opening sentences. Such alternate names are generally bolded.
    Done. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 19:02, 1 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • The lead's a little short compared to the article's length.
    ​Aye, what kind of information would be appropriate?
    • - Brief summaries of the age and eruption history would likely be helpful. Just two or three more sentences to beef the lead up.
      • Attempted an expansion. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 10:27, 2 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
        • Looks good.
  • I'm fine with the bulleted lists in the article

Placing on hold. Hog Farm (talk) 16:20, 1 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

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