User:Somebody "Notme" Else
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 | This page in a nutshell: Somebody Else Out There will help Wikipedia out. Again. Surely... Maybe. |
Somebody Else ("Notme") is one of the most respected and experienced editors in Wikipedia. A composite character (see Omnibus, reification, and Invisible Hand), they have are practically omnisent all fields whatsoever of the Life, the Universe and Everything. They are logged in, alive, and they are typing 24/7. Whenever you refresh your watchlist, Somebody Else is in seven of the top ten lines.
Somebody Else is always here to assist fellow Wikipedians, especially the gefingerpoken newcomers, never ever biting them. He tirelessly writes new articles and destubs stubs, adds reliable sources, formatting them with eyes closed, wikifies unwikifiable, overlinks underlinked, and categorizes uncategorized. His special food is Special:NewPagesFeed (alphabet soup to needy he giveth). By the way, he is about 8.5–16% she, but she works on it.
User:Somebody "Not me" Else has numerous socks: User:Someone Out There, User:Somebody There, and User:Y'all Over There, to name a few. Their purpose is sole and benign: duly declared MPD beats Wikipediholism.
Someone Out There is a proud bearer of the rights of administrator and bureaucrat. He is always here to close yet another AfD discussion and he always has a few hours to summarize a complicated consensus about a particularly murky application of a Wikipedia policy; WP:CCC does not bother him at all. He regularly peruses WP:AN, deeply and thoroughly delving into the essence of each and any dispute. Every morning, he scrupulously checks the permission requests and endows the worthy ones with new status flags. He is lightning fast to roll vandalism back, to block those who are not here yet. He is always speedy to speedy delete; to prod and deprod, to tag and untag. User:Somebody There has WP:CLEAN, WP:PM, and WP:RM on his watchlist and category:Wikipedia cleanup and all its subcategories on the watchlist and never allows them to overflow.
Over time even the most experienced Wikipedians begin to rely on Somebody Out There. After all, Someone Out There is always online and with a hand to lend.