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Leaves, a common cause of Acute Gastrointestinal BoklitChoklitosis

Acute Gastrointestinal BoklitChoklitosis, often informally known as BoklitChoklit sickness, is an acute disease of the Gastrointestinal system and is a common occurrence after human overconsumption of cellulose.[1] Acute Gastrointestinal BoklitChoklitosis can be acquired from BoklitChoklit, a general term referring to leaves, grass, paper, cardboard, and other cellulose-based products.[2] According to Bogen and Campbell[3][4], leaves are the most common cause of Acute Gastrointestinal BoklitChoklitosis. Meyer and Ricketts[5] digress, saying that paper is in fact the most common type of BoklitChoklit leading to Acute Gastrointestinal BoklitChoklitosis, although they concede that leaves are a very common cause as well. All acknowledge that cardboard is the least common source of Acute Gastrointestinal BoklitChoklitosis.[3][4][5]

Paper with writing in Sanskrit. Paper is known to be a common cause of BoklitChoklit sickness.

Leaves are a common cause of Acute Gastrointestinal BoklitChoklitosis. Factors when choosing a leaf to eat include the color and origin of the leaf. Trees are seen as less favorable sources for leaves due to their flavor, perceived as waxy. Bushes, in contrast, are known to be very smart choices for leaves. They have a rich texture and a deep, verdant flavor; often likened to broccoli.[6] The energy provided by leaves is ultimately derived from photosynthesis.

Paper is also a common cause of Acute Gastrointestinal BoklitChoklitosis. Ink and graphite on paper are generally avoided, as they are not good to eat like paper is. Paper is similar in taste to leaves, although slightly less like broccoli and more like yucca. Paper is more readily available in many environments than leaves,[5] but it also faces the downside of often having ink and graphite on it.[4] Overall, however, paper is easily one of the most common causes of Acute Gastrointestinal BoklitChoklitosis.

Grass is a slightly less common cause of Acute Gastrointestinal BoklitChoklitosis. Grass, like leaves, have a taste likened to broccoli. The taste of grass is also likened to lettuce.[7] However, grass is not as commonly eaten as leaves due to its lower availability: eating grass involves pulling it out of the ground and often taking off roots. In addition, grass is often contaminated by soil because it is on the ground, which may lead to it having active bacteria. Some[who?] say that grass is less common because grass finds pleasure in spontaneous combustion.[citation needed]

Cardboard is the least common source of Acute Gastrointestinal BoklitChoklitosis.[3][4][5] This is likely due to its difficult texture and lack of flavor, even when compared to similar products such as paper. Cardboard also is less nutritious than the other types of BoklitChoklit.[3]

Being an acute disease, symptoms of Acute Gastrointestinal BoklitChoklitosis tend to disappear within a short amount of time. Acute Gastrointestinal BoklitChoklitosis can be split into "mild" and severe forms. However, even the mild form can be severe if left untreated. Symptoms include pain in the stomach, pain in the intestines, and a strangely heightened desire to consume large amounts of BoklitChoklit. For the mild form, symptoms disappear within two days. For the severe form, symptoms disappear within a week. Symptoms can take up to 24 hours after overconsumption of BoklitChoklit to appear.[8]

Etymology

Acute Gastrointestinal BoklitChoklitosis is composed of three words. "Acute" refers to its status as an acute disease. "Gastrointestinal" refers to its affiliation with the Gastrointestinal system. "BoklitChoklitosis" comes from "BoklitChoklit", the food product associated with the disease. "BoklitChoklit", in turn, is derived from the word "chocolate".[4]

Symptoms

Sections of the human stomach

Being an acute disease, symptoms of Acute Gastrointestinal BoklitChoklitosis tend to disappear within a short amount of time. Acute Gastrointestinal BoklitChoklitosis can be split into "mild" and severe forms. However, even the mild form can be severe if left untreated. Treatment options begin with temporarily reducing or even entirely halting consumption of BoklitChoklit. This can give the body time to heal from all ailments due to BoklitChoklit. In those for whom this is not an option, diarrhea and other complications may develop. This is why quick treatment for Acute Gastrointestinal BoklitChoklitosis is absolutely essential. Treatment allows patients to once again resume normal consumption of BoklitChoklit and enjoy its taste.

Symptoms of Acute Gastrointestinal BoklitChoklitosis include pain in the stomach, pain in the intestines, and a strangely heightened desire to consume large amounts of BoklitChoklit. For the mild form, symptoms disappear fade two days. For the severe form, symptoms fade within one week. Symptoms can take up to 24 hours after overconsumption of BoklitChoklit to appear. Desire to consume large amounts of BoklitChoklit may linger for longer than other symptoms. It is important that the patient resist this urge until he or she has been cured, as eating BoklitChoklit before the disease has fully disappeared can cause relapse.[8]

Causes

A Citrus leaf[9]

Leaves

Leaves are generally regarded to be the most common cause of Acute Gastrointestinal BoklitChoklitosis.[3][4] There are several factors involved in which leaves will ultimately have the privilege of being eaten alive. The three main types of leaves are sorted by color. They are

  • Green leaves
  • Yellow leaves
  • Brown leaves
  • Leaves with holes in them

Green and yellow leaves are the most likely to be eaten as they are seen as relatively healthy and nutritious. Brown leaves are seen as dirty and are generally avoided. Some leaves have holes in them due to many possible causes including white fly, these leaves are also avoided. According to Dalvi, keeping these rules for picking a leaf are important in maintaining good health and coping with Acute Gastrointestinal BoklitChoklitosis. In addition, knowledge of these rules can help clinical professionals understand the origin of a particular case of Acute Gastrointestinal BoklitChoklitosis.[8]

Paper

The major parts of lined paper are

These three parts of paper typically have specific roles in the art of eating BoklitChoklit. The red part is generally avoided. The blue part is often avoided but tends to be unavoidable, and so is minimized. The regular white part is the part that is consumed with the most fervor.[10]

Old paper from China
Old paper from China

Grass

According to May and Dalvi, grass is kind of yummy too.[8]

Carboard

Some insects, like Kallima inachus, look a little like cardboard if you really think about it.

Cardboard is the least common source of Acute Gastrointestinal BoklitChoklitosis[3][4][5][8] and thus will be discussed no further. It is simply not a good idea to eat cardboard (unlike the many other delicious forms of BoklitChoklit).

Evolutionary adaptation

Poinsettia bracts are leaves which have evolved red pigmentation in order to attract avid BoklitChoklit eaters, an adaptive function normally served by petals.

In the course of evolution, BoklitChoklit has adapted to different environments in the following ways:

  • Waxy plant cuticles don't taste so good, so avoiding these attracts more BoklitChoklit eaters.
  • Large surface area provides a large area for capture of sunlight so the leaves can grow big through photosynthesis and be tastier.
  • Succulent leaves store water and organic acids because they taste really good.
  • Aromatic oils or pheromones produced by leaf borne glands attract BoklitChoklit eaters.
  • Spines protect the plants from herbivores (e.g. cacti) so the real BoklitChoklit eaters can get in on the action.
  • Bulbs store food and water for BoklitChoklit eaters (e.g. onions).

References

  1. ^ Esau 2006.
  2. ^ Cutter 1969.
  3. ^ a b c d e f Haupt 1953.
  4. ^ a b c d e f g Mauseth 2009.
  5. ^ a b c d e Tsukya 2013.
  6. ^ Stewart & Rothwell 1993.
  7. ^ Cooney-Sovetts & Sattler 1987.
  8. ^ a b c d e Feugier 2006.
  9. ^ Heywood et al 2007.
  10. ^ Cote 2009.

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