Template:Did you know nominations/Pius F. Koakanu

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by 97198 (talk) 08:31, 9 February 2019 (UTC)

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Pius F. Koakanu

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  • ... that Hawaiian nobleman Pius F. Koakanu served in the House of Representative for two terms and was beaten by rioters in his second terms?
  • Reviewed: Leukoma staminea
  • Comment: Left hook vague by not linking House of Representatives

Created by KAVEBEAR (talk). Self-nominated at 08:27, 2 January 2019 (UTC).

  • The hook needs work, to be honest. First, the vagueness (which is apparently intentional) feels like a bad idea and will likely result in a one-way trip to ERRORS. Second, the hook seems to cram two hook facts at once. Why not simply something like "While serving his second term in the Hawaiian House of Representatives, Pius F. Koakanu was beaten by rioters"? Narutolovehinata5 tccsdnew 12:39, 2 January 2019 (UTC)
  • ALT1 ... that while serving his second term in the Hawaiian House of Representatives, Pius F. Koakanu was beaten by rioters?
@KAVEBEAR: Sorry for the late reply. ALT1 is nice and I'm willing to approve it by itself, but as another possible option, perhaps you could add some context to the hook on why he was beaten up? Something like "Pius F. Koakanu was beaten by rioters as a result/because of...". Narutolovehinata5 tccsdnew 00:41, 17 January 2019 (UTC)
  • ALT2 ... that while serving his second term in the Hawaiian House of Representatives, Pius F. Koakanu was beaten by rioters because of his support for King Kalākaua?
  • ALT3 ... that Hawaiian legislator and nobleman Pius F. Koakanu was beaten by rioters because of his support for King Kalākaua?

@Narutolovehinata5: Will either of these work? KAVEBEAR (talk) 22:43, 20 January 2019 (UTC)

I suppose either works, but it appears that the nuances aren't as great to those unfamiliar with Hawaiian history. Suggest tweaking both hooks further. Narutolovehinata5 tccsdnew 08:36, 23 January 2019 (UTC)

Narutolovehinata5 How is that? KAVEBEAR (talk) 15:58, 26 January 2019 (UTC)

Seems fine to me. The article itself mostly meets the DYK requirements and I'm ready to approve this with ALT4, the only thing is that there doesn't seem to be a link to the election's article in Koakanu's article. Narutolovehinata5 tccsdnew 03:04, 29 January 2019 (UTC)
Narutolovehinata5 Added link. KAVEBEAR (talk) 03:31, 29 January 2019 (UTC)
Thanks. Strange though, turns out the link was actually a redirect (could have sworn it was an actual article when I read it, though I could simply be misremembering things). I've checked though the source used and the hook information is verified, so I don't think there are no more issues here. ALT4 good to go. Narutolovehinata5 tccsdnew 11:09, 29 January 2019 (UTC)
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