Talk:Ross A. McGinnis/GA1

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Reviewer: HJ Mitchell | April Fool! 17:42, 1 April 2010 (UTC) Wow! I've just read the article and can't help but be moved by that act of bravery! That's astonishing. If ever there were a subject worthy of GA, this is it.[reply]

• All your links work fine
• No dab links

My first issue with the article is the lead section- I'd like to see it padded out a bit to comply with WP:LEAD. It starts with the basics and the reason for notability, but then the entire rest of the lead is about the incident in which he died. As amazing as his actions were, the lead needs to summarise the rest of the article as well. Other than that:

• Meadville should probably be linked
  • Done --Kumioko (talk) 02:57, 2 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
• the early life section contradicts the infobox on place of birth
  • Done I also fixed the persondata template. --Kumioko (talk) 19:03, 1 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
• I hate to say this, but "Instead of jumping out of the gunning hatch, he threw his back over the grenade, absorbing the bulk of the blast" sounds very POV. I know it would seem like understating how heroic his actions were, but that really needs to keep to NPOV
  • Done - I think I fixed all the POV wording in the article with the exception of the actual citation itself which is in blockquotes. --Kumioko (talk) 19:03, 1 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
• Also, for similar reasons, can we change "an insurgent threw a grenade" to "a grenade was thrown". See WP:TERRORIST
  • Done --Kumioko (talk) 19:03, 1 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
• For the first time they're mentioned, all ranks should be linked
  • Done --Kumioko (talk) 03:16, 2 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
• It gets a little cramped at the bottom with the number of images- would any of them fit further up?
  • Done--Kumioko (talk) 03:16, 2 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
• The "Ross McGinnis: Fallen Hero" section probably doesn't need to be a section and the info there needs a bit more context
  • Done --Kumioko (talk) 02:57, 2 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

When those are fixed, I see no reason not to promote this. HJ Mitchell | April Fool! 17:42, 1 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks Ill get working on that. --Kumioko (talk) 17:44, 1 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

• • I also added a little more, reworded a couple things and cleaned up some dates and structure with citations. --Kumioko (talk) 19:03, 1 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
    • Good work. I'm happy with the work that's been done and I think all my concerns have been dealt with so I'm happy to pass this. Apologies for the delay- I've only just managed to log on with my laptop. HJ Mitchell | Penny for your thoughts? 18:06, 4 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]