Talk:Randolph Ridling/GA1

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Reviewer: Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk · contribs) 13:34, 1 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Will take a look at this shortly. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 13:34, 1 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Prelim

  • I have replaced the image with one cropped from an image that has a cc-by-sa licence. Zawed (talk) 10:47, 3 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • No edit wars

Lede and infobox

  • Should the postnominals be GC or AM? If he was exempted from the order, choosing to keep the AM but with the privileges of a GC, which set should be used?
  • It should be GC; when the AM was disestablished, the recipients were styled GC. This would apply to Ridling even though he kept the physical medal. Zawed (talk) 08:42, 5 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • And I do realise it is a little inconsistent with the presentation of the name of cite 1! Although on the search page for that website it shows the GC as the postnom for Ridling. Zawed (talk) 08:50, 5 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "After studying at the University of Cambridge..." stipulate that this is after the war
  • rephrased. Zawed (talk) 08:42, 5 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • Thoughts on adding his rank to his name in the lede? Not necessary, just noting that you've done it in past articles
  • It is my understanding that ranks in combination with the name in the lede are really only used for senior officers. Zawed (talk) 08:42, 5 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Early life

  • Onto > On to
  • Fixed. Zawed (talk) 08:52, 5 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • Done. Zawed (talk) 08:52, 5 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "became a teacher" out of interest is there anything on what he taught/specialised in?
  • Not at this stage of his career. Zawed (talk) 07:59, 6 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]

First World War

  • Done. Zawed (talk) 09:11, 5 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "further promotion to sergeant major" that's a meteoric rise! is there any note on why/how he was promoted so quickly?
  • No, nothing that goes towards his character. I wonder if being a teacher gave him a bit of gravitas that was recognised by his superiors. Zawed (talk) 08:18, 6 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • Assuming NZ forces used WO2/WO1, which was Ridling?
  • The source doesn't say. But if the Wikipedia article on NZ army ranks is right, he was probably a WO2 as I think he would have been a CSM. Zawed (talk) 08:18, 6 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "18th Reinforcements" is this an adhoc unit of no particular size, or can you stipulate company, battalion, etc?
  • This is an adhoc formation and is kind of an organisational construct used by the NZ military when sending its reinforcements for the NZEF. They would be dispatched in large groups or drafts, each of which were known as X Reinforcements. Once in Europe or the Middle East, the troops would then be sent to specific units. Zawed (talk) 09:11, 5 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • Done. Zawed (talk) 09:11, 5 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "within days he was wounded" is there a more accurate date?
  • Have added a date. Zawed (talk) 08:18, 6 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • Any details on what the wounds were?
  • No, only indication is that they were severe. Zawed (talk) 08:18, 6 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "first lieutenant" is this correct? would have thought they would have used plain lieutenant
  • Yes, you are correct, the source says lieutenant. Zawed (talk) 08:26, 6 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "the previous month" difficult to date this, as the previous date is only "early 1918"
  • Added month of promotion. Zawed (talk) 08:26, 6 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "bombing techniques" should be explained or linked to grenades or the like
  • Went with link to grenade. Zawed (talk) 09:11, 5 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • Done. Zawed (talk) 09:11, 5 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • Done. Zawed (talk) 09:11, 5 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Postwar period

  • "promoted to temporary captain" when exactly?
  • Added date of promotion. Zawed (talk) 08:37, 6 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "education officer" what does this mean?
  • Have expanded a little. Zawed (talk) 08:37, 6 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "in September 1919" remove repeated year
  • Done. Zawed (talk) 09:14, 5 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "19 April" add year here
  • Done. Zawed (talk) 09:14, 5 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "done away with" language a little too casual
  • Rephrased. Zawed (talk) 09:14, 5 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "and deeds performed on land also being able to be recognised with the AM" doesn't read correctly when paired with the other half of the sentence
  • Have rephrased for clarity. Zawed (talk) 09:14, 5 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • The citation names him as a lieutenant. Did he not keep his temporary rank into 1919?
  • No, by the time of the announcement he had been discharged at his substantive rank. Zawed (talk) 08:37, 6 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "war scholarship" what is this?
  • Have expanded on this. Zawed (talk) 08:37, 6 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Later life

  • "he worked" > "Ridling worked"
  • Done. Zawed (talk) 08:58, 5 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • I linked the organisation instead. Zawed (talk) 08:58, 5 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • Note that per this source [1] Ridling was the head of the NZ delegation at the third session of the UNESCO general conference
  • Have added, thanks for that. Zawed (talk) 08:54, 6 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]

References

  • Reference #1 link is broken
  • Fixed this. Zawed (talk) 08:52, 5 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • Otherwise references look good.

@Zawed: That's all I have for now. Will await your responses. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 12:25, 4 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@Pickersgill-Cunliffe: thanks for the review, this is ready for another look now. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 08:54, 6 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]
@Zawed: Happy with your changes. My one final comment relates to the new UNESCO sentence; its addition means the next sentence beginning "By this time" has now had its timeframe changed completely. Ideally both the UNESCO event and his retirement would be dated. I've fixed one reference but think everything else looks good. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 15:01, 6 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]
@Pickersgill-Cunliffe: ah yes, I missed that. Now fixed. Thank you. Zawed (talk) 00:40, 7 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]
@Zawed: Passing this article as satisfying the GA criteria. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 00:44, 7 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]
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