Talk:Ether One

Ether One was a Video games good articles nominee, but did not meet the good article criteria at the time. There may be suggestions below for improving the article. Once these issues have been addressed, the article can be renominated. Editors may also seek a reassessment of the decision if they believe there was a mistake.

Article milestones Date Process Result August 30, 2015 Good article nominee Not listed December 14, 2015 Good article nominee Not listed July 3, 2018 Good article nominee Not listed A fact from this article appeared on Wikipedia's Main Page in the "Did you know?" column on April 13, 2015. The text of the entry was: Did you know ... that 2014 game Ether One has been praised by The New Yorker for its portrayal of dementia? Current status: Former good article nominee

This article is rated C-class on Wikipedia's content assessment scale. It is of interest to the following WikiProjects:

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This review is transcluded from Talk:Ether One/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: AdrianGamer (talk · contribs) 03:46, 19 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

• The lead is too short. It need to be significantly expanded per WP:LEADLENGTH
• The lead has one citation for uncontroversial information. Move it somewhere else per WP:LEADCITE
• That is a well-written little plot section. Well done
• The gameplay section is under-developed. It needs to be significantly expanded. Information like what kind of puzzles players would encounter, what game mechanics are there, how players interact with the world, should be there. After reading it, I still know nothing about the game's gameplay.
• The gameplay screenshot is placed in a wrong position
• You should paraphrase and reword the quote from Pete Bottomley.
• What about other game design? How puzzles were developed, why they choose the topic "dementia". What about the game's soundtrack? When the development of this game began?
• The game was released both digitally and on Blu-ray Disc. - One-sentence paragraph is not encouraged
• Ether One has received largely positive reviews from critics. - Not really "largely" positive reviews
• S. Prell of Joystiq praised the environment, writing that the uninhabited dreamscapes feel "almost haunted; there is a constant, pervasive feeling that something is not right here". - What is S. Prell's first name?
• It is not IGN and or PC Gamer that thought the game was something. It is the reviewers that said these things.
• The reception section had too much quotes.
• PC Gamer should be italicized
• Citations are fine, though it needs some wikilinking.
• Having an external link to the game's official website would be nice.

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

1. Is it reasonably well written?

   A. Prose is "clear and concise", without copyvios, or spelling and grammar errors:

   B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list corporation:

2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?

   A. Has an appropriate reference section:

   B. Citation to reliable sources where necessary:

   C. No original research:

3. Is it broad in its coverage?

   A. Major aspects:

   B. Focused:

4. Is it neutral?

   Fair representation without bias:

5. Is it stable?

   No edit wars, etc:

6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?

   A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:

   B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:

7. Overall:

   Pass or Fail:

Good to see someone working on this interesting independent game. While the article is well-written, it is too basic, and does not cover the game in a comprehensive way. The over-simplistic gameplay and development section, as well as the excessive use of quotes in the article prevented it from promoting to a good article. It is getting there, it only needs more expansion. AdrianGamer (talk) 05:44, 19 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for reviewing. I'll take a look at those points and get back to you. StewdioMACK (talk) 05:50, 19 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

@AdrianGamer: I've taken a look at your points and I've also added some more info. It's not completely up-to-par; I'm still working on the lead and gameplay sections, but I just thought I'd give you an update. StewdioMACK (talk) 02:25, 21 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

@StewdioMACK: Can I get another update? AdrianGamer (talk) 05:45, 27 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Since there is no activity on this page, and the nominator did not reply, I am closing this review now. Feel free to re-nominate the article when you have fixed all the issues, and I will be happy to review it again.

• There is too much direct quoting in this article. Everything should be paraphrased apart from specific phrases that can be put no other way.
• The lede doesn't accurately summarize the article. For instance, it doesn't mention puzzles or any detail about the development process. More can be said about the Reception section too.
• Summarize the aggregate opinion with human-friendly context, e.g.,

  The game received "mixed" reviews, according to video game review aggregator Metacritic.

  rather than

  The game was met with very mixed reception. GameRankings and Metacritic gave it a score of 57.52% and 59 out of 100 for the PlayStation 2 version, and 55.25% and 58 out of 100 for the PSP version.

 czar 20:25, 13 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]

This review is transcluded from Talk:Ether One/GA2. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 21:19, 13 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Will be happy to offer a review. However, I strongly recommend you take a look at czar's comments on the talk page, as I'm concerned about over-quoting and unbalanced paragraphs in this article. JAGUAR  21:19, 13 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Initial comments

• The lead is far too short to comply per WP:LEADLENGTH. Both paragraphs need to be expanded in order to summarise
• There's nothing on development in the lead.
• "video game company" sounds redundant
• "In Ether One, the player is cast as a "Restorer" whose job" - missing comma between "restorer" and "whose"
• I think that the gameplay section is a bit short and is too reliant on unnecessary quotes. Why is ""an individual with the ability to project himself into the mind of someone suffering from mental illness in the hopes of restoring their memories"" in quotes?
• The development section's first paragraph is also lacking in comprehensiveness. There is so much more content to use from the first source I pulled out, for example
• Story sub-section in the development is unnecessary. It should most likely be merged into the main development section, and paraphrased because it's pretty quote-heavy
• ""Our main goal was to tell a story that we could invest ourselves in," said Pete Bottomley, co-founder of White Paper Games and game designer." - unencyclopaedic
• The biggest concern here is the reliance on over-quoting in the reception section. The Depiction of dementia sub-section for instance is comprised of a huge quote. This definitely needs to be copyedited and paraphrased in order to meet the GA criteria. I'd recommend taking a look at other VG GAs and observe how they portray reviews
• Have all the concerns from the previous GAN been addressed?
• One link is dead

Close - not listed

I'm sorry to do this, but this doesn't meet the GA criteria at this time and I think it should be renominated once all of the issues (mainly quote-farming) have been addressed, both in this GAN and the previous one. I couldn't put this on hold because I feel like it's too much work to do, and it might be better if you take a look at other video game GAs and see how they're written. This article is also lacking a bit in comprehension, as I pulled a couple of sources from this article and found that it had a lot of information on development. If all of the issues are addressed, then I'll be happy to review this again. Don't worry, I'm sure you'll get it next time! JAGUAR  11:18, 14 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]

This review is transcluded from Talk:Ether One/GA3. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Cognissonance (talk · contribs) 22:23, 2 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I'll get to this as soon as possible. Cognissonance (talk) 22:23, 2 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox

There are no sources confirming the rest of the release dates and, moreover, nothing in the body to do it either.

Lead

• "first-person" is consolidated in the adventure game link. I suggest to omit "first-person" in the lead, mention it in the second paragraph, or simply save it for the gameplay section.
• White Paper Games also published it.
• The game was the studio's debut product and was For the sake of flow, remove the second "was".

Gameplay

• It should be mentioned (with a source) that it is an adventure game.
• Ref. 2 (PlayStation Blog) is dead.
• "never sure" of This should be amended to something like "not indicated to".

Plot

• The player assumes the role of a "Restorer" This was already mentioned in Gameplay. Work the information about what the Restorer does and the company they work for into the other sentence.
• will either make or break Informal saying, should be copy edited to "may decide".
• of dozens of its citizens "of its citizens" is already implied with the use of "dozens".
• They must destroy the stones First only referred to as a singular stone, this sentence should become "They must destroy several of these stones".
• more and more Only one "more" is needed.
• It is also revealed Repeats the preceding "revealed". Perhaps replace with "made known".
• trying to cure himself of his own Repeats the preceding "his own". I suggest to simply omit it.

Development

• There is no source here confirming the claim that it is their first game or that it took three years to make.
• Sound composer Nathaniel- Jorden Apostol composed the soundtrack for the game Terrible line. Remove "sound composer" and "for the game" and correct the naming.
• Ref. 12 (DualShockers) is an unreliable source.
• Ref. 13 (PC Gamer) is dead.

Overall

Other than what I have already mentioned, the plot and development sections are rife with badly written prose, like cases of WP:POV and "This person stated that". It's clear to me that it requires a rewrite and deep copy edit to satisfy the good article criteria. Until then, I'm not comfortable passing it. Cognissonance (talk) 00:45, 3 July 2018 (UTC)[reply]