Talk:Adullam/GA1

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Reviewer: Amitchell125 (talk · contribs) 22:21, 27 January 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Happy to review this article.

If there are things that still need to be done to improve this article, I will be happy to do so.Davidbena (talk) 17:14, 28 January 2023 (UTC)[reply]

@Amitchell125: This is to inform you that I have carefully gone through all of your points and have, to the best of my ability, fulfilled your every request. The article is considerably better than what it was before conducting this review. If you can review it again, I would be much obliged. Cheers.Davidbena (talk) 00:26, 3 February 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Review comments

Lead section / infobox

• The lead section (i.e. the first paragraph) is not a summary of the article’s most important points, and it contains information not mentioned elsewhere. It looks as if a proper lead section is required here (see MOS:LEAD).

Following your directives, I have begun the work of making a summary of the article's most important points (expansion) in the lead paragraphs, in a bid to bring this article up to par.Davidbena (talk) 03:49, 2 February 2023 (UTC)[reply]

• What is a stone hedge?

Fixed to now read "stonewall enclosures"Davidbena (talk) 20:20, 1 February 2023 (UTC)[reply]

• The first paragraph has an external link, which needs to be taken out (see WP:EL about this).

That external link has been removed.Davidbena (talk)

• There are missing links in the infobox.

I have corrected information relayed in the infobox, but I am uncertain about what you mean by "missing links". Can you explain?Davidbena (talk) 23:29, 2 February 2023 (UTC)[reply]

• Unlink Israel (MOS:OL).

The word "Israel" is no longer linked.Davidbena (talk) 03:53, 2 February 2023 (UTC)[reply]

• Consider amending ʿAīd el Mâ to {{lang|ar|ʿAīd el Mâ}}. Ditto Eîd el Mieh; Khurbet esh-Sheikh Madkour, and elsewhere in the article where Arabic word appear. (not GA)

These Arabic names have just now been amended by me, by using the language template suggested by you.Davidbena (talk) 03:53, 2 February 2023 (UTC)[reply]

• In the late 19th century, the town was still in ruins. - That it was ever a town has not been explained. I would amend this something like ‘By the late 19th century, the settlement, which had been a town, was in ruins'.

Your suggested edit has been incorporated into the text, with the old wording deleted.Davidbena (talk) 05:23, 2 February 2023 (UTC)[reply]

• The abbreviations JNF and KKL need to be written in full. Check the article for similarly unexpanded abbreviations.

I have written out fully these abbreviated names, in compliance with your request.Davidbena (talk) 03:53, 2 February 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Main archaeological sites; identification

• None of the text in this section should be in bold.

I have removed the bold-face writing in that section.Davidbena (talk) 03:55, 2 February 2023 (UTC)[reply]

• The bullet points make this a list, but he section should be written as prose.

I have removed the bullets so that the section and its paragraphs can be read as prose, rather than as a list.Davidbena (talk) 04:11, 2 February 2023 (UTC)[reply]

• (grid: 1503/1175), and other examples of this kind of reference are unexplained.

I have added a link to Palestine grid, which explains the meaning of this term.Davidbena (talk) 04:11, 2 February 2023 (UTC)[reply]

• Introduce M. Clermont Ganneau.

Where M. Clermont Ganneau is first mentioned in the article, I have added there that he was a French archaeologist.Davidbena (talk) 23:31, 2 February 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Previous attempts of identification

• This paragraph does not need its own title.

I have removed the section heading (title) and incorporated the text with all the rest in what was the previous section.Davidbena (talk) 04:56, 2 February 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Iron Age and Hebrew Bible

• The section has more examples of external links in the text.

I have removed all external links from this section and have inserted them in footnotes.Davidbena (talk) 05:09, 2 February 2023 (UTC)[reply]

• To readers it would seem that there is nothing in this section about the settlement during the Iron Age, despite the title.

Since the Late Bronze Age and Iron Age have, actually, more to do with events of the Hebrew Bible, I have changed the section caption to read "Late Bronze-Age, Iron-Age and Hebrew Bible." I will seek to add more academic and/or archaeological references about this era, as it pertains to our biblical site and the events that transpired there.Davidbena (talk) 19:03, 2 February 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Persian period

There is an external link.

The external link in that section no longer exists.Davidbena (talk) 05:26, 2 February 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Hellenistic, Roman and Byzantine periods

• Introduce Judas Maccabaeus.

I have added a brief introduction after his name, telling what he is most famous for.Davidbena (talk) 13:59, 2 February 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Ottoman period

• French explorer, Victor Guérin – the introduction should be moved to where Guerin is first mentioned.

That is a good and correct suggestion and I have duly complied with that request. The excerpt has been placed where Victor Guérin is first mentioned.Davidbena (talk) 05:46, 2 February 2023 (UTC)[reply]

• Is there no information available about the site (apart from it being visiting once in 1874) between 1596 and 1994?

There is, and I have endeavored to add more about the site leading up to 1994. To cover this topic, I have added a new section to the article, entitled "Modern period." It is worthy of mentioning, however, that when it comes to an archaeological ruin, at least from a historical perspective, there is always very little activity in situ, and, subsequently, records about the site seem to fade into oblivion. Only those sites (settlements) that are actively settled and inhabited by people are those sites spoken about, unless, of course, they are archaeologists. The current site of Adullam has only been surveyed by archaeological teams, but it has not been excavated.Davidbena (talk) 17:16, 2 February 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Nature reserve and park

• Much of the text in this section seems off-topic, as it describes a forested nature reserve.

Yes, it is off-topic, for which reason I have deleted the section.Davidbena (talk) 23:27, 2 February 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Landmarks

• This section should be written as prose. [[MOS:LISTBASICS], although I would consider omitting it, as it is off-topic (seeing as it is about other places in the surrounding area).

I have removed this section altogether, since, indeed, the section does not speak specifically about the site of the biblical Adullam.Davidbena (talk) 17:09, 2 February 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Gallery

• Having a gallery of images of this type is generally avoided in Wikipedia articles, and unless any of the images relate directly to the article text, the section should be removed (see WP:GALLERY).

I have duly complied with this request and have removed the "Gallery" section, as most of these images can be viewed anyway by accessing the Commons media link provided in the "External links" section.Davidbena (talk) 17:04, 2 February 2023 (UTC)[reply]

See also

• Archaeology of Israel could easily be linked in the text.
• I’m unclear why Tourism in Israel is given here, as there is no mention of tourism in the article. If both the links are removed (and I think they should be), this section is not needed.

I have deleted the section "See also", but will add the link "Archaeology of Israel" somewhere in the text.Davidbena (talk) 17:25, 2 February 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Bibliography

• Clermont-Ganneau (1875) is listed as a source but not cited. Is this intentional?

Actually, Clermont-Ganneau (1875) is, indeed, cited in footnote no. 11. I have since seeing your note made additional citations from this important work. Davidbena (talk) 17:58, 2 February 2023 (UTC)[reply]

External links

• Consider hiding the template at the end of the article by amending {{Nature reserves of Israel}} to {{Nature reserves of Israel|state=collapsed}} (not GA).

I have just now added the template (with collapsible window) as you suggested.Davidbena (talk) 19:00, 2 February 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Links

• The following is a list of missing links (the list is incomplete): Sultan; Arabic; cistern; Canaanite; Israelite; potsherds (Sherd); shrine; grotto; sepulchre (Tomb); Judea.

When revisiting the page, I have made links to the above words.Davidbena (talk) 00:18, 3 February 2023 (UTC)[reply]

• There are duplicated links, which should be unlinked (see MOS:LINKONCE).

I have tried my best not to over-link, and I have removed all the double-links that I could find.Davidbena (talk) 00:18, 3 February 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Failing the article

The article is a long way off from meeting the criteria for GA, and so i am failing it. The list of the issues I found is not exhaustive, but may help if you want to re-nominate the article at some point. Amitchell125 (talk) 09:46, 31 January 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks, @Amitchell125:, for your pertinent and critical advice. When I find the time, I will go through each of your comments and make the appropriate changes/corrections. It is always good to hear constructive criticism. As for why Clermont-Ganneau (1875) is mentioned in the Bibliography but not cited may have been an unintentional error. I will try and figure out what was his specific remark about Adullam. Again, I cannot over-emphasize how important and invaluable it is to receive your timely remarks and which will help us improve this article, by bringing it up to the standard expected of Wikipedia articles.Davidbena (talk) 05:46, 1 February 2023 (UTC)[reply]

I have been working on the improvements of this article, and I will notify you when my amendments / correction / edits / deletions, etc. have been completed.Davidbena (talk) 17:19, 2 February 2023 (UTC)[reply]